I just returned from Madagascar where I witnessed the makings of a new TV show, though I’m not sure how popular it will be as almost no one has a TV. Regardless, they are plowing forward. Here is a sneak peek at the new show, “Madagascar’s Got Talent!”.
The show is about to air, the judges are ready, the audience is ready, the contestants are ready. I’m sitting on the sidelines behind the main viewing area. Let’s see what this is all about:
The first judge is one that is on every incarnation of this show, Simon Cowell. The second judge is the ever-popular comedian and actor, Howie Mandel. I don’t know Judge three or four, they look like local celebrities. I’m told they speak only Malagasy. Shhh, here comes the first contestant.
Host: Welcome to Madagascar’s Got Talent where the local populace competes for prizes and national celebrity. We are live from our capital city, Antananarivo, commonly known as Tana. It looks like our judges and contestants are ready [loud cheers from audience]. Let’s bring on our first contestant, the debut of the Sportive Lemur duet.
They look a bid nervous. Where do you two hail from?
Contestant: Berenty [in unison].
Host: Judges, what do you think?
Howie: They just sat there and did nothing. I vote No.
Judge 3: tsy misy. [no]
Judge 4: tsy misy.
Simon: Absolutely no talent and not even a compelling look. There is too much hip and leg. I say No.
Host: Sorry Sportive Lemur duet, back to Berenty for you. Now, let’s bring on our next contestant, our first look at a Diademed sifaka.
Contestant: I’m cute and bubbly, love to climb trees, and can stare you down. Everyone loves me, and I am from Mantadia National Park in eastern Madagascar!
Judge 3: Eny!
Judge 4: Eny! Tiako ny rambo fotsy! Eny! [yes, I like white tail, yes]
Simon: Not a very interesting facial expression but very nice multi-colored fur. Quite chatty. I vote yes.
Howie: No sense of humor and a bit narcissistic. I vote No.
Host: Sorry Diademed Sifaka, you do not move on to the next round. Back to Mantadia for you. Onto our third contestant for the day, the Coquerel’s Sifaka, also known as the dancing lemur. Do you have a dance for us?
Contestant. Today I will do some Kung Fu for you. Aish! Aish!
Judge 4: Eny!
Simon: Wonderfully acrobatic maneuver with a sinewy physique, though I do wish you would wear boxer shorts. Yes, for me.
Howie: Kung Fu is my favorite of the martial arts and you do it with such skill. It’s an easy yes for me.
Judge 3: Fihetsika tsara, Eny! [nice posture, yes]
Host: Congratulations Coquerel’s Sifaka, you move onto the next round. Our fourth contestant is moving onto the stage, Ring tail lemur.
Contestant: Hi, I am a ring tail lemur, star of the Disney movie, Madagascar.
Simon: You were not the star, just a supplementary character. Lies are not acceptable on this show. Red buzzer for you, you are out!
Host: In Simon’s typically harsh way, the ring tail lemur is eliminated. I love those rings, but my opinion does not matter on this show. Our fifth contestant is another Coquerel’s Sifaka. Let’s hope this one fare better than our other Coquerel’s Sifaka.
Contestant: Hello Simon and Howie, number three and four, how are you today? I will do a gymnastic routine for you today!
Howie: Wonderfully skillful modified inverted hang.
Judge 4: Tiako ny mivadika [I like upside down].
Judge 3: Eny!
Simon: Such a better performance than our other Coquerel’s Sifaka. It’s a Yes for me.
Host: Fantastic! Coquerel’s Sifaka, you are onto the final round. Wonderfully executed. Here is our sixth act for day, the Black and White Ruffed Lemur.
Contestant: I can do gymnastic also, check out this maneuver. And I can do this while maintaining eye contact. Woohoo!
Simon: I like the act, well done. I am a little perturbed that you are called white and black yet also have brown. You seem to be misnamed which I consider an affront. Because of this, I vote no.
Judge 3: Ny loko fahatelo dia tsara koa [third color is good too]
Judge 4: Eny!
Howie: I vote yes, just love your eyes.
Host: Nice job, Black and White Ruffed Lemur, but you are out of the competition. You’ve been Simonized! Now onto our penultimate contestant. As a reminder we have two contestants that have made it to the final round. Can either of these final two make it? Here comes Indri lemur to the stage. Gymnastics seems to be theme of the day.
Contestant: I’m a cool dude, one of the biggest lemurs, and I can do many a thing with a branch. My blue eyes are steely and penetrating.
Howie: I love the attitude. I love the pose. Indri, you are in! A Yes for me.
Judge 4: maso manga antitra dia eny [old blue eyes is yes]
Judge 3: Izaho koa [me too]
Simon: I wonder how long you can maintain that pose. Minutes? Hours? A cautious yes from me.
Host: Indri, you are into the next round with quite the performance (and attitude). Now for our final contestant of the day. Please welcome Aye-Aye Lemur to the stage.
Contestant: I’m the Aye-Aye. I bring bad luck and death to any who oppose me. I’m nocturnal which makes me doubly scary. Vote against me at your peril!
Simon: I will not be coerced or threatened by you or anyone! Yes, for me with a Golden Buzzer!
Host: The Aye-Aye has won! Let’s get out of here before we are hexed by the ugly, evil one.
And there you have it, the first and only episode of Madagascar’s Got Talent.